Phone: 616-217-9489 | eMail: jude@midlifetoolsforliving.com
JD's Midlife Tools For Living Practices, LLC
It never ceases to amaze me what information you can find on the internet for free. I’ve looked up a knitting stitches I’ve had trouble understanding from the picture and explanations in books. And, low and behold in the matter of seconds have found short video clips that help me see what I was missing. Not every change is a change challenge!
Not so many years ago, a problem like that would have involved a trip to the nearest knitting store or visiting a friend who knits for a skilled knitter to show me how to do it. And in less than a minute my dilemma was resolved. Just took an instant fix to a problem I was having.
In my life time there has been a tremendous amount of change. Often, I see value in the benefits change has provided. However, frequently I shake my head in frustration longing for the good old days when life was simpler! Or so it seems at times looking back.
Like you knew you’d find the products you’ve come to enjoy on the store shelf each week. Or, you could get something fixed when it broke or a part wore out. That’s all changed.
It’s a challenge to find some products I’ve come to enjoy! And, finding someone to fix things or locating parts at times can be more hassle than it is worth doing.
I am a “tech idiot”—a description I’ve given me as a way of laughing with myself and my tech follies. It’s also a way to explain to tech savvy people my level of skill when I am trying to talk with them about things I haven’t the proper words or understanding to communicate clearly to them.
Many years ago, the host of my website made some upgrades in the tools used to create the sites they host. I learned of this logging into my account to add a new blog post that week.
The upgrade changes challenged me greatly. It took me some time to learn how to use them. Sure, the host was very happy to have offered such new and improved tools to their customers. I however, was not at all happy. In fact, I was so frustrated that for about 24 hours I considered whether or not to delete my website or move it someplace else.
After the frustrated energy inside me dissipated, my wise mind kicked in. I was able to see more clearly and realized that no matter what I want, technology change challenge is going to keep right on happening.
My minimal skill level will either continue to be a source of frustration for me or I can use each change challenge as an opportunity to learn a new skill or two.
There is no sense swimming upstream against the current of change and waste precious time, energy and peace of mind. It is what it is.
And I am who I am, a generation or two removed from what’s currently being taught in school. It’s a great big world of things to learn.
So, it’s good for me to remember just how simple and easy it is to locate solutions to my knitting problems when some new “fangled” change challenge phenomena get under my skin!
How are you at negotiating through the change challenges in your life? What tools help you cope?
If you are having some extra stress adapting to change challenges, Do Contact Me! I can assist you with learning some life coping tools like how to find your wise mind! You have one too!
I offer Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy, Grief Therapy, PTSD Treatment and Substance Abuse Treatment.
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Turns out you just might want to watch the sun come up or go down more often. Research has shown there are awe effect mental health benefits from seeing the sun rise or set.
I took my coffee cup and went for a sunrise stroll this morning, for the first time in a while. It’s done my heart some definite good. I witnessed the beauty the pictures in this post reflect.
Think back on a time you saw a beautiful sunset or sunrise. Remember how you felt?
Likely you experienced a sense of awe inspired by the view you took in.
I remember driving home this winter and the sun was setting off in the distance. The sky was enormous and filled with beautiful shades of orange from the sun, blue from the sky and gray from a few clouds. I can still see the scene in my minds eye. It was stunning. I gasped and uttered a big ‘wow’. And smiled all the way home.
The awe effect of that great huge sun rising or setting inspires us and that is what has a positive impact on our mental health.
An awe effect occurs when we experience something so immense and so profound that we can’t quite comprehend it. The experience itself changes our perception, and even brings on physical responses like tears or chills.
We tend to over think when we are too inwardly focused. This creates or adds to our anxiety. In addition, we can get stuck in those negative loops of thought, too.
But when we experience something we feel awed by; the awe effect interrupts that loop of negative thoughts. We are more present and focus outward. As a result, we’re not stuck up in our heads thinking and thinking and thinking. And stuck in those negative thought loops.
Importantly, people who experience awe or joy often have lower levels of cytokines. Cytokines are a marker of inflammation in our body. Higher levels of cytokines in our body make us at higher risk for depression and also diabetes and cardiovascular diseases too.
In addition, experiencing an awe effect can help us be a kinder person. Feeling small while experiencing something stunningly magnificent inspires us to be more altruistic according to research. If you are awe-struck watching the beauty of a sunset or sunrise you just may find yourself having more compassion and be helpful to those around you.
It’s hard not to experience an awe effect when watching that great huge orange ball in the sky coming up or going down!
So, do you wanna feel better emotionally? Get out to see the sun set or rise! Experience the awe effect. It can’t hurt. And, it sure does look like it will definitely help! Trust me today I feel it too!
Remember: Anxiety Therapy and Depression Therapy will help you add more skills to your life coping tools box! Contact Me to get started!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Just so you know, it’s normal to feel some heightened stress when wildfire smoke is in the air! Wildfire smoke does affect your mental health! Studies show it can worsen conditions like depression, anxiety and mood disorders.
If you think about it you are likely to be staying indoors more. You are limiting outside and physical activities. Plans you made might have to be canceled. You could be worried about how loved ones are doing too. Feel more isolated stuck indoors. Even deciding when to go out and how to protect yourself is burdensome too.
All this adds up. So, the longer the wildfire smoke sticks around the more important it is to take good care of your mental health!
How stress shows up is unique for each one of us. It includes having feelings of worry, frustration, anger, or sadness. Experiencing a loss of appetite.
You might find yourself being very tired or have less energy. Have trouble concentrating or making decisions. Nightmares and trouble sleeping can happen too.
Also, headaches, upset stomach, and even skin rashes are possible to experience and any chronic health problems you have might get worse. You could find yourself using more alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs to cope with it all too.
In children you might notice clinginess, fears, or acting like a younger child. And behaving uncooperatively, or being irritable.
Be sure to eat healthy, stay hydrated, get enough sleep and exercise but only when and where its healthy to do so.
Do share your feelings and connect with family and friends. Make an extra effort to not stay isolated.
Give yourself time and permission to do things you enjoy and relax and unwind. It’s not easy experiencing that gray foggy smoky air outside.
Ask for help too! It’s ok to reach for therapy support if your distress is just too much.
Do contact me! Anxiety therapy and depression therapy will help you learn some additional coping skills!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Photo by Chris Alo: Pexels
Whether or not you voted for him, have you wondered “How does Trump keep getting away with that?” Or “Is anyone going to stop him?” No matter what party you affiliate with you may very well be experiencing ‘betrayal trauma.’
Trump is able to make so many unchecked decisions, unfiltered outbursts and like the energizer bunny he keeps on going. It seems so unreal that he is able to keep doing these things too!
‘Betrayal trauma’ is a psychological response that occurs when a person or institution who you depend for survival, emotional safety, or stability significantly violates your trust. The term was pioneered by the psychologist Dr. Jennifer Freyd.
When the source of your harm is also the source of your security this trauma can be very devastating. And it takes a toll.
Hyper-vigilance & Anxiety: You are in a constant state of scanning for threats because your sense of physical or emotional safety has been shattered.
Dissociation & Memory Fog: You feel detached from reality or block out details of the betrayal to protect yourself from the full impact.
Intrusive Thoughts: You relive the moment of betrayal or obsessively question.
Physical Manifestations: You might be chronically fatigued, have tension headaches, and gastrointestinal issues due to having a dysregulated nervous system.
The preamble of our constitution states:
“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
We the people have had some faith and expectations in our system and government institutions. Our country was founded on some basic principles and rights. A democracy where people vote for representatives who are supposed to consider and care for the voters they represent. Our voices are supposed to matter. There’s a level of fairness and equality and accountability built into our system. We’ve trusted that.
It’s just not fair when someone gets away with doing so many things without any real accountability. When no one stands up to question and to stop it when rights are taken away, or excessive money is being spent, or a war is being fought without Congressional approval, or chaotic midnight social media rants happen our trust in this system erodes.
A sense of betrayal looms over us. We don’t feel safe. Worry about what’s to happen next. Feel depressed and hopeless. We lose our footing. The ground is no longer solid. We don’t know what the truth is or rules are anymore. Life becomes very unsettling.
Trauma, ‘betrayal trauma’ sets in.
It’s important to clearly recognize what is happening in the country and also inside of you. Validate your experiences and distress. It makes sense to feel as you do.
Put limits on your news intake or the doomscrolling that you do. It’s easy to become overwhelmed.
Make sure you connect with your friends, people in your community. Shared experiences bring relief. Help your community in some way—volunteer, make the little changes that only you can do.
Check out these additional blog posts of mine to learn a few other coping strategies:
Noticing any ripples of anxiety?
Looking for ways to improve your mental health?
Gee whiz every day there is yet another trauma event to cope with!
To lower your anxiety, try ‘grandma hobbies’
Reach out for therapy support if your symptoms of trauma are intense and you struggle to cope with it all.
Contact me! PTSD Treatment or trauma therapy, Anxiety Therapy and Depression Therapy do help!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Wisdom comes and wisdom goes. I’ve been out of sorts of late. Just not centered. Rather I am off with a furrowed brow inside and out more often than not.
Many years ago, I was gifted a wisdom filled fortune cookie. I saved the little paper so neatly placed inside the cookie. And every now and again it speaks loudly to me when I read it along with my other daily meditations.
It says: “Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”
Reading that fortune cookie insert this morning, I realized where my wisdom went. I’ve been spending too much energy dwelling on the negative. There’s been a lot of that out there to see.
From the price of gas, to a war costing so much money that could be better used in so many ways—all kinds of negative staring me in the face. And that’s just a couple of examples too.
That is an important recognition for me today. Every time I allow my mind to focus on those negatives out there I give my power away. And my wisdom goes out the door.
The power to be fully grounded in the present moment. To be right here right now smelling toast being made, watching the sun glistening on the wet tree leaves, hearing the crackle of eggs being fried, feeling my feet touching the floor, noticing my breath fill my lungs, tasting a fresh cup of coffee.
The power to be at peace inside and out.
When I am up in my head I am not fully present. I am lost meandering around in my thoughts. And my body reacts to those thoughts too. I get a furrowed brow when I think of those negatives that are out there. Look and feel grumpy too.
Wisdom comes when I realize all that thinking is just that: thoughts. And pretty much judgment thoughts too. Recognizing this I have a choice.
I can continue to dwell on the negative thoughts adding to its power over me. Or I can opt to be in the here and now otherwise known as the present. Where I can live fully with the power of wisdom I have and not just give it all away.
To love ourselves we gotta be both patient and kind. I sure have to give myself a heavy dose of self-compassion.
Because I’ve been down this rabbit hole so many times. I’ve fallen off the horse so many times. And I’ve had to figure out how to get back up and keep riding so many times.
If I were to dwell of the negative of all that just said I’d be giving away my power! And that’s exactly what I am trying NOT to do!
Ah life…constantly learning aren’t we!
All the negative dwelling thoughts we get caught up in do contribute to feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, depression. If you find yourself struggling know there is wisdom in seeking therapy!
Do contact me. Anxiety therapy, Depression therapy can assist you in finding the wisdom that resides inside of you!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Photo by Yulia Polyakova, Pexels
I’ve been feeling a tad on the cranky side lately and just learned something new from my husband—RBF or ‘resting bitch face.’
Well, I had to look that one up. The Cambridge Dictionary says and that RBF is “a slang term for a neutral or relaxed facial expression that unintentionally appears angry, annoyed, contemptuous, or serious.”
Honestly, I am not sure that fits because I suspect the RBF in me is more intentional grumpy looking! The inside me reflected on the outside.
From the war, to the weather, to the slow ‘I don’t know where I am going’ Tulip Time visitor traffic here in Holland, Michigan, to the price of gas—it’s not hard to find something that makes me crabby or brings me down. The RBF on me isn’t relaxed and resting at all. She’s more like frustrated and even feeling a tad bit hopeless.
It’s easy in this RBF state for me to see a lot of half empty glasses. I don’t have to look too far to see something that I really do not like at all.
All that negativity inside is really rather sticky. It likes to collect things and grabs on for a strong hold. As it builds it becomes too easy to ignore all the half full glasses sitting within my eye sights’ reach.
That is a good question to ponder. I do have a choice. Even in the midst of my RBF showing I still do have a choice.
Being aware or mindful is the key to unlocking that scowling mind and face of mine. Once I notice what I am doing inside and outside I can opt to continue or perhaps search for a glass half full!
For example: my gas tank is ¾ full, the lovely flowering trees in town that are full of beautiful pink and white blooms, the air that smells so sweet this time of year when it rains.
Also: the flickering leaves dancing in the wind, the peace I feel walking in my neighborhood, the darling cat of mine all curled up sleeping so sweetly in the sunshine—all of which bring a smile to my face and inside my heart too.
It’s hard to be RBF when I take notice of these sorts of things right here in front of me. They are just sitting here waiting to be experienced.
‘RPF’ is my newly invented term and goal—’resting peaceful face’. It’s a much calmer place to be inside and out. I know this shift will have to happen more than once or twice. More like a zillion times. It just will.
Each time I find my RPF once again is a victory to be celebrated. The negative energy is not pulling me down! Rather the positive energy is lifting me up enabling me to better cope with the challenges in the world around me.
If with today’s challenges are you are all too often showing your RBF perhaps it’s time to reach for Anxiety Therapy or Depression Therapy. So, you can find your RPF! Do contact me today…I get it. Right now, is a really hard time!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Image by: freepik
Several years ago, I had a professional manicure and it was yummy. It was fun to have fancy fingers for a while. It was even better to have rid myself of some shame I had carried for a very long time. I went on a ‘shame diet’ that day.
I realized in the mist of my manicure what it was that kept me from having the experience sooner in my life. When I was in high school way back a thousand years ago, in speech class we had to do a demonstration speech. I was a very awkward freshman that year.
One of my classmates was in a cosmetology program and she did a demonstration speech on doing a manicure and asked for a volunteer. I was up in the front and offered. But she took one look at my fingernails and made a disparaging comment about my nails and found someone else.
I don’t recall anything else about her speech except her arguing with the teacher about whether it was ok to cut cuticles or not…she said it was and the speech teacher said NO!
So, I asked my manicurist that day whether it was ok or not since I wondered all those years. And yes, Mrs. grumpy whatever your name is speech teacher, it is ok to cut cuticles!
That comment and my shame about my nails kept me from having someone give me a manicure for so many years!
Comments we make towards others can have dramatic effects on them. I understand that the student needed an easier set of fingernails to tackle for her 3-minute speech. I don’t blame her at all. But, that comment made in front of a whole classroom of people stayed with me all those years.
What I did as the manicurist worked on my nails was to tell her a bit of my story which allowed me to release the shame I had carried all those years…finally and thankfully too!
We all experience shame in life in varying degrees. It’s just a part of the human condition.
Circumstances come together in ways that affect us. I might have been able to brush off that comment if other things had been different in my life up until the moment it was made.
What is most important is that we give ourselves the gift of opening up with someone we can trust about the shame we carry so we can release the load.
I have to admit that I did feel a tad bit lighter that day leaving the salon…I call it a “shame diet”!
1. What is an experience from the past that you carry and are willing and ready to lose the weight of today?
2. Determine who might you confide in to share your experience.
3. And then make time to share of your experience to lighten your load!
If the shame you carry is too overwhelming do reach out for some professional help. You can Contact Me today and get your ‘shame diet’ started!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Photo by Karolina Grabowska; Pexels.com
We can be manipulated in any kind of relationship–at work, in friendships and in our family. Basically people pressure others in sneaky ways to get what they want.
As a result, they have control and power over you. They control how you act and take away your ability to think and feel for yourself.
Being manipulated affects our relationship with that person, with others in our lives and with our own mental health too! It hurts.
-You feel guilty—the manipulator portrays themself as the victim or makes it seem like you owe them.
-You doubt yourself—after being told you can’t do something or don’t understand you start to believe it.
-You are coerced to do they want—they are angry and blow up even in front of others so you give in.
-You feel less than—they compare you to others, you don’t measure up and they insist they are just trying to motivate you to do better.
-You get charmed—they shower you with compliments and praise to build your trust to get what they want.
-You feel threatened—they give ultimatums and threats to get their way.
Those who manipulate others are skilled at spotting weaknesses in others and they figure out how to use this to their advantage against you. Also, they don’t give up easily.
A manipulator gets you out of your comfort zone so they have more control.
They alter and twist facts, lie, make excuses, blame you, only share some of the facts. They will exaggerate, generalize and make vague accusations.
Manipulators use humor in a cruel way to poke fun at your weaknesses, judging you openly. They ‘gaslight’ you by saying something you know happened never did or was never said.
Manipulators are passive-aggressive using indirect ways to express their anger. Or give you the silent treatment to punish you.
Being manipulated takes an emotional toll. It’s important to find a safe way out of the situation.
Above all step back and look at the situation, at the facts. Trust your gut. Especially consider what your intuition is telling you about the person and how you are being treated.
Importantly, put some distance between yourself and the manipulator. Consider how you want to be treated and what you need from others to be happy. Think about what you want and need in your relationships.
Set some boundaries. Limit how often you see and interact with the manipulator. Limit what you share. Keep your conversations short and very general. Respond unemotionally when they attempt to get you worked up.
Pause for a moment before you agree to do anything the manipulator asks or demands of you. Ask yourself if that is really something you want to do or if it is not.
Remember you have the right to say ‘yes ‘and importantly ‘no’ to anyone or to any request made of you! And, do exercise your right to say no when you want and need to.
Additionally get support for yourself when you are being manipulated. It is very painful and confusing to be manipulated. It hurts deeply too.
Reaching for help is especially important if the situation is abusive in any way. If you are in immediate danger call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE or text START to 88788 are resources too.
Do contact me. Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy and PTSD Treatment helps heal the wounds that being manipulated creates.
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
Here in West Michigan we live in one of the top 3 regions in the US for having the greyest winter days! We are out ranked by the Anchorage Alaska and Seattle Washington regions. Grey days and limited sunlight can trigger Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD.
Holland Michigan has overcast or mostly cloudy skies about 67% of the time in the winter. January is the cloudiest month with over cast skies happening about 71% of the time!
All the cloud cover is due to effects of the lake. Moisture from Lake Michigan combines with the cold air creating all those lovely clouds and grey days we see.
SAD is a type of depression that is linked with reduced sunlight. Less natural light can cause us to experience a decline in our body’s ‘feel good’ chemical called serotonin that resides in our brain.
The sun is our primary source of vitamin D which is an essential nutrient for our overall mental and physical health. Without the sun we can experience vitamin D deficiencies. This can lead to fatigue, mood changes—depression and anxiety and low energy.
As the nights get longer our body’s production of melatonin increases. Melatonin is a sleep related hormone and, in the evening, it helps you feel sleepy. Having too much can lead to sleepiness, being lethargic and mood changes too.
Sadness, feeling depressed most of the day, almost every day
Anxiety
Carbohydrate cravings and weight gain
Extreme fatigue and lack of energy
Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Trouble concentrating
Feeling irritated or agitated
Limbs (arms and legs) that feel heavy
Loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities, including withdrawing from social activities
Sleeping problems (usually oversleeping)
Thoughts of death or suicide
Light therapy, vitamin D, psychotherapy and medications are helpful treatments for winter-pattern SAD. Talk with your doctor to see what’s best for you.
For some additional ideas on how to help yourself with SAD, do look at my blog post: Does the time change cause seasonal depression?
If you have intense thoughts of death or suicide don’t hesitate to call 988, 911 or go to the nearest emergency room for immediate assistance. You are worth taking good care of!
Do Contact Me today to begin depression therapy so your SAD doesn’t overwhelm you and you can enjoy a wonderful day!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
Image by syarifahbrit on Freepik
If you are at all like me and perhaps the majority of us, fairly often you want things to be different than they are…especially with life challenges.
For example, the tea bag I just tossed in my waste basket fell on the outside of it. And I grumbled when I got up to pick it up to place it inside. I wanted it to land there to begin with and I was a bit irritated that it didn’t.
Now that’s a very minor example of my resistance to what’s transpired and the subsequent emotional results my resistance created. But think about it, things happen all day long.
When we have a want for life to be different than how it unfolds, we or rather I, can create a lot of pain for myself when I make judgments of those unfolding events.
Minutes, hours, days, weeks, years of letting my brain keep doing what our wonderful brains do—evaluate and judge, adds up to a lot of accumulative distress, misery and pain.
After all, I can’t change the fact that my tea bag didn’t arrive in the basket when I initially tossed it! I don’t have the power to go back in time to alter my aim.
My grumbling about it and the irritation I felt just caused me a bit of distress that I did to myself! The distress I felt was from me making a judgment and reacting with it!
It can help us to become aware of our thinking and label our judging thoughts as ‘a judgment thought’ as we recognize what we’ve just done.
It’s important however not to judge our judgments!
Be gentle with yourself for having a brain that is actually doing what our brains our designed to do—evaluate. After all judgements about situations can keep us out of harm’s way, too.
Simply noticing the judgment thought will help you disengage from the emotional outcome of your judgment. And, you may like me find yourself smiling with yourself too.
Being very human and catching a behavior that has a costly emotional effect on your life will ultimately cause a little less distress in your day!
So, what happens to you emotionally when you pass a judgment on the life challenges that unfold in your day?
Contact Me together in anxiety therapy, depression therapy we can explore various life coping tools for you to incorporate into your life’s journey!
Our lives are teaching us…that saying is really so very true. My life is constantly teaching me things. Most importantly I keep learning about me. Including reaction habits of mine that get in my way!
At times something happens and I am able to see a reaction habit I have that I hadn’t seen before. When I see clearly it helps me grow and know more about me.
It was back in my mid 20’s when I was learning how to be a separate person from my parents and wanted to change how I reacted to my mom. I vividly recall seeing an old very familiar way I had been reacting towards her mid doing. And, I smiled at myself for catching me.
There was such power in that moment because I saw what I was doing. And as a result, was able to intentionally change my reaction habit.
My mom however caught that smile and thought I was being smart with her! I explained that I had just realized what I was doing in that interaction we were having. I shan’t forget that important moment of my life.
It’s easy for us to be caught up in what someone else is doing that rubs us the wrong way. That focus however keeps us from learning about ourselves and growing and, keeps us in misery and suffering. We can end up experiencing depressed and anxious moods too.
Learning how to see, watch, be witness to our own thoughts, reactions, behaviors is where wisdom and growth lie. This is how we make change happen and peace dwells within our soul. And, we get to have a smile on our face too!
If so, what is your reaction habit of thoughts or behaviors in your interactions with that person? Put your mind’s eye on what you are doing, thinking, saying when they are being them. Notice and observe you.
We fall into patterns and form habits in our close relationships. Reaction habits are much like dance partners who each know so well how and where the dance routine is going to go next. If one alters their dance step, moves in another direction, the partner has to adjust and respond differently too. The dance changes for both of them.
In conversations if we change our reaction habits by responding in a different way, we change the flow of the discussion. The dynamics change and so does the outcome. Even a small change makes a difference in altering a reaction habit. And importantly we gain control of our self.
It does take practice and lots of it to change a habit of any kind including a reaction habit. Be patient and kind to yourself as you practice too.
Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. Therapy can help us identify reaction habits that cause us emotional distress and harm not only ourselves but our relationships as well.
Do Contact Me Depression Therapy and Anxiety Therapy does help us learn about our self!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools!
Image by freepik
We all wish for each other to have a happy new year. But in reality, it takes more than wishes to create a happier new year! It takes intention and attention and practice too.
Read on to find some keys to open a few doors towards a happier new year!
An important question to ask yourself especially when you find yourself feeling on the unhappy side of life.
There are so many ugly things happening all over the world. We can get so bogged down with what is going on out there in out their land. We can’t control it. But we can control how much we expose ourselves to it.
Same with what other people think and how they react. That is there’s not ours to control. We only have the power to tend to our reactions and thoughts and the way we communicate with others. We do have the choice to not let others reactions which we have no control over get to us!
No, that stuff that upsets us won’t go away. However, we don’t have to make things we have no control over be our central focus and keep us from having a happier new year.
There was a beautiful sun set in West Michigan the other day that filled the sky with bright pinks and oranges that bounced off the clouds all over the sky. I savored it. And I can still see it in my minds eye.
As I write this my husband it sitting with our cat Teddy who is purring away all cuddled up in his arms. So sweet them both. So calm and peaceful. My body relaxes just watching them.
I can see the smiling faces of strangers I’ve helped load groceries into their cars. And the faces of people who’ve helped me load heavy items into mine. Those few seconds of joy for us still bring a smile to my heart.
We can pause to collect and also to reflect back on these moments of joy and bring them forward to make a happier new year.
Knowing this answer can help us be sure to find a balance in our lives. We really have to keep our energy level in check so we have what we need in our lives for each step of our journey.
What give-ith and take-ith away is unique to each one of us. While I find quiet time helps fill me up others find it terribly dreadful to endure. A song may lighten my heart and be nothing but noise to someone else’s ears.
Allowing ourselves to know when our energy bank is drained and giving ourselves permission to fill it back up can help us to enjoy a happier new year.
When we hang on to resentments and anger it really hurts us deeply. Forgiveness is really for ourselves not for the other person. We don’t have to forget what happened in order to forgive either.
We feel freer when we forgive. It’s freeing to let go of the bitterness that binds us down. Bitterness keeps us tied to the past repeating the offense in our minds eye over and over and over again.
Forgiveness indeed can unlock the door to a happier new year.
My wish for you is to find what your heart needs you to do in order to make 2026 a Happier New Year!
Jude
If you find this impossible to do, Contact Me to begin therapy today! Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy, Grief Therapy, Substance Abuse Treatment, PTSD Treatment can make a difference and help you make 2026 a happier new year!
JD’s Midlife Tools For Living Practices, Holland, MI
Offering Heartfelt care, Compassion and Coping Tools
